Fair warning, this is way off topic for this blog.

I am not one to journal my dreams, but I really wanted to share this one and it needs more than 140 characters. I am not making this up or embellishing, my brain actually did this.

I woke up at 4am and was a bit restless. After a bit, I fell asleep, and immediately had this dream. I woke up again at 5:30, got up for a bit, and when I went back to bed my wife asked me if I was ok. I detailed the dream I’d just had, and the combination of light sleep and verbalizing it made it stick with me in full.

I don’t listen to a lot of pop music, but am always intrigued by cultural trends, including the area of pop stardom. I’ve been watching pop stars since the days of Cindy Lauper and Madonna, and the current batch is both baffling and fascinating. So this is what my subconscious did with that.

I dreamt I was hosting a show called Mean Cakes where baked goods were psychoanalyzed. We were broadcasting a live celebrity episode.

After analyzing the first entry, Steven Tyler’s funnel cake was deemed passive-aggressive. One analyst called it “a little stale,” but the comment was struck from the record for irrelevance to the the judging criteria.

Kanye West offered an Angel Food cake that took some time to diagnose. It was eventually determined to be bi-polar with delusions of grandeur.

The big surprise of the evening was Taylor Swift’s Black Forest cake. There was a gasp from the audience when it was unveiled, and in short order it was qualified as sociopathic with violent tendencies. No one really saw that coming. For the record, my conscious brain has no idea where that came from. I think she’s a nice lady.

I don’t know what the grading scale was, or how points were awarded, but Khloé Kardashian won for no apparent reason and without presenting a cake.

Don’t analyze it too much, I say.